It's really been a while since I write. I've been here in Germany now for four months and I believe to each of human beings who already lived here for four months will not just keep their mouths shut! it's the 'omg I need to write it down' feeling.
I already started my internship for 2 months in Patisserie. I made a promise to myself to 'not write anything until it (internship) ends' but now I got 2 PM shift and it's 12 PM here. So I decided to write. Wait, my garlic bread is cooked.
So it's been two months in this lovely small town called Rust, which is home to the biggest theme park in Germany, Europa-Park. At first I was like wow, I live nearby a theme park isn't that awesome!? this is dreamy! Yes and up till now I still think this is a dreamy life. I didn't even know that I would end up here, living this life in Rust. I stay in this apartment given by the internship company, which happens to be the park's hotel. And it began when I got myself into the pastry kitchen.
I literally have no background in pastry, I must say. It was a two choice between doing internship as a waiter, or in the kitchen, or in pastry kitchen. Then I say I think I don't fit as a waiter so I chose pastry kitchen because I know I love cooking so much and I have more experiences in hot kitchen but I think it's gonna be tough so... Hi pastry.
And I'll make promise to myself to not write anything about my pastry life until it's the end of my internship. Deal.
---
What I like about living in this place is that I walk a lot. I walk to my workplace, I walk to the restaurants, I walk to the supermarket, and I walk almost everyday of my life here. I find it very soothing to walk and say nothing but to enjoy the wind blowing and the warmth of the sun in springtime.
Train rides. I love train rides, the view and all the strangers you find in the train. I feel like whenever I ride a train, it carries a lot of different stories of people. It transports ambitions, plans and other things that could possibly be a reason to travel. And not to forget the view. I live in the Schwarzwald (Black Forest) Area, which means in every km out of the city I get to see the great forest. My train view from Ringsheim to Offenburg is always filled with this great green hills, which are soothing to see and really are like paintings.
Food. I can't stop eating great things here, I do love Brezel and Croissant. All of them are delicious.. I once travel to Strasbourg and I can't walk properly because I tend to stop and stare at these delicious patisseries selling eclairs, paris brest and choux..
--
It may be one of my dream to live abroad to study, and now I'm here in Rust. I don't speak my native language everyday anymore, instead I speak Deutsch now. Deutsch is not even my second language, Deutsch is a new thing that I just learned in the past 2 years. I use this language at work, outside of workplace like restaurants, and other places. Now I see German people, not my people anymore. This is a very different thing compared to my hometown, where I can see my people, who look and speak just like me.
Other thing is that now I live on my own. I have my friend as a room mate but still, I manage my own money and survive by my own. I tend to overthink on things, and that's quite disturbing me. I still have to survive this whenever I'm on my workplace and after work. It's not easy to always feel anxious, and at first I kept blaming myself for feeling this way. But as time goes by, I learn to always accept whatever it is that God has given me. I have to accept and accept things everyday since I live here. I have to accept that failures are meant for experience - it means I'm gonna be great. I have to believe in things that I used to have hard time to believe in.
Work has been a very different thing to me. It is an exercise in responsibility, where you should make things correctly and it's all under your control. All these anxieties and overthinking are probably the result of this change - that I now have this new things to handle called responsibility. It comes in so many ways. You determine how you would perform, that's one example. I have to make sure that I am capable of doing things right. I was trying so hard to do things good but again, it's a new thing to me. I need to know what is wrong and how to do the correct things instead of forcing myself to do great at once, which was what I did. Now I could see way clearer on how to react on things. And not all things require reactions, and by far this is the most precious thing that I've learned since all these changes came to me.
Why am I writing this, it's just because I need to write this off to finally explain how this drastic change affects me. It's not a lot, but I just want to share it. I believe I need to share it. For me, everything that got me in an abnormal way - drastic - different should be noticed and analysed. Now I'm writing also to do those things. I just want to notice things just to be able to be more aware of myself, to not just flow along the way and not catch a single fish.
-
It's been four months here and it means two more months left to do the internship and I got 3 weeks to explore Europe. It's clear that I'm going to miss this place, all those train rides and many things.
But on top of everything, I do miss my hometown. I miss my parents and my family members. No matter how hard days at work are, it's all gonna be away when you see them. This successfully got me in tears whenever I thought of them. No matter how fun life in here is but still, I do miss my home.
-C
No comments:
Post a Comment